Seeking meaning

Since my cancer journey a few years ago (which fortunately is now over), I've been obsessed with finding more balance. Perhaps that's the reason for my dog-leg left from a somewhat prolific, if not challenging, career in energy and technology as a woman. Balance was certainly the motivation behind taking time off to sail.

Over the last few years, I've dedicated more mind space to thinking about the Japanese word "ikigai" and the Swedish word "lagöm". Ikigai loosely translates as "your reason for being" and lagöm as "just enough" or "not too little, not too much".

In seeking ikigai, I've learned (known?) I love the outdoors, adventure, and challenges (yes, to be the under-dog). I find I am good at synthesizing complex scenarios and quickly ascertaining what's important; I'm good at organization and planning; I'm good at brining order to chaos. I'm good at supporting others and helping them grow. Personally, give me a mountain and I'll figure out how to climb it (literally and proverbially). I'm still seeking to understand how to complete the other two quadrants... Passion is clear, but what the world needs and what I can contribute is not.

In seeking "lagöm", I've learned I don't need a lot. I found living on our boat - what some call "glorified glamping" - to be complete. I'm happier when I use less, have less, and lack "wants". That being said, I'm cognizant I don't want a "subsistence" lifestyle. I need financial security and freedom. Exploring the combination of lagöm and ikigai have revealed the complex relationship I have with money as well as social circles. Ultimately, I want to afford my children educational and experiential opportunities; I want to continue exploring and travel; and I want to feel secure. Beyond that, it's sometimes tough to define "enough".

As I ponder both of these concepts, I find myself in the in-between. My motivation to climb the proverbial ladder is no longer as high, yet my desire to do meaningful work remains high. I don't need prestige, money, or notoriety; yet, I want to live a life of meaning and contribution; after all, many people have contributed to my current position in life. It's a privilege to contemplate these things. Perhaps it's my time "to learn something by being nothing", Mary Oliver...